Rules before you pick up a smokin’ hot girl from the bar down the street.
When we were kids, our moms keep on reminding us about the rules that are expected to be followed every single day: give your seats to the ladies or elderly, cover your mouth when you sneeze, say “excuse me” if you’re passing by someone. As we reached puberty, their reminders leveled up to the issue of disclosing and discussing sexual histories with a potential intimate partner. Actually, that’s the role of your old man but for some unknown reasons, the “if you can’t control your libido, might as well protect yourself” reminder becomes more frequent than reciting the national anthem in grade school. Well, we can’t blame them because of the emergence of HIV/AIDS and the increase in other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) have transformed what was once an extremely embarrassing discussion into a public health matter.
Admittedly, it’s a most embarrassing subject for dear mothers, but it is absolutely essential whenever a relationship is likely to include sex. If you want to tell her that you’re already familiar with the safe sex and etiquette and are safely tucked in your back pocket, read our rules before you pick up a smokin’ hot girl from the bar down the street.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: Protect Yourself.
A condom could save your life. It’s important to use condoms to help reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). The surest way to avoid these diseases is to not have sex altogether (abstinence). Another way is to limit sex to one partner (monogamy). Condoms are not 100% safe, but if used properly, will help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. So you better protect yourself. To make this easier, just always have condoms on you, or readily available whether you have a date or you don’t. Better to have this ready than having to figure it out when you are hot and half naked on the bedroom room floor.
LADIES FIRST. Let her pick the place
Location, location, location can be key when it comes to sex especially if it is the first time with a new partner. Don’t be the @#$%&! (sorry, I cant print the word right here) dude who go for it in the bathroom of a bar. Proper first-time sex etiquette would be deferring to the lady as to where she would be most comfortable. Of course if you invited her over to your place for another drink and she’s into it, asking if she would be more comfortable at her place with her teddies, might kill the buzz. Just make sure your place is ready for her. Remember that acting like you’re expecting sex can be a big turn off.
If you end up at your place (assuming, you are not staying with your parents or relatives, otherwise, forget about inviting her) you should be a good host. Make sure she is comfortable like having refreshments or water around, or making sure there are clean towels. All of these little things will show her that you want her to be relaxed. The more effort you put into making her comfy at your place, the more likely it is that she will want to come back to do it all over again. On the other hand, if you get invited to her place don’t be a nuisance and don’t abuse the invitation. Having it in her place has a few distinct advantages. First of all, her stuff is already there, including all of her fun stuff and for sure she has clean sheets on her bed. And, being at her place also makes an easy getaway for you… if it’s that type of situation. You know what I mean?
IT’S HER SHOW. So, Make It All About Her.
In matters of foreplay, you should let her set the pace. I’m not saying that you just sit back with your hands in your lap and wait for her instructions. You can show initiative, get a little aggressive, and focus on getting her primed and ready to go. The key is to wait when she is ready. As a general rule of first time sex etiquette, you can start undressing her and if she encourages you and returns the favor, it is safe to say you’re good to go.
When it’s time get down to business. There are few things as anticipated and exciting as that first thrust. Common sense dictates that the condom would already be handy. The first intercourse is something you both feel comfortable, unless it’s very clear you’re both on the same page, avoid anything kinky the first time. You may want to save the whips and hand cuffs combo for the next time -or maybe not. Depending on the type of girl you’re dealing with, use your judgment on what might weird her out. You don’t want to mess this up on the first try, so sometimes playing it safe is the best choice.
GETTING OFF. And, Clean Up When the Deed Is Done.
If your girl has not had the privilege of the result she’s expecting, you need to get creative and help her make it happen. Make sure this sticks in your etiquette for sex. Mess this one up, and chances are you won’t have to worry about a next time. Even if she can’t climax for whatever reason and calls you off, the fact that you recognize the situation and are enthusiastic about making sure she enjoys herself to the fullest will go far.
As for the upshot, make sure you are responsible for the condom disposal, don’t just leave it somewhere in her room for her (or worse her friends) to find later. Give her a moment to gather her clothing items. Offer a fresh towel to cover herself (or your shirt), or even assist her in locating her underwear as they have a tendency to get misplaced in all the excitement. If you’re going to use the bathroom, ask her if she would like to go first.
THE ART OF PARTING WAYS.
Regardless of both of your levels of satisfaction and circumstances, it would be good etiquette at this point to tell her that you had an amazing moment with her. Offer to get in touch with her or have some coffee at nearest coffee shop. If you would like to do it again sometime, let her know . . . but let her decide.
REFERENCE: Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen